Suga Reflects on the Darkness Period of His Life When BTS Nearly Disbanded, Bringing ARMYs to Tears

 

Every profession comes with risks, but being an idol seems to be one of the careers with the highest level of uncertainty. Before debut, trainees live with constant anxiety—never knowing when they will debut or whether they will ever debut at all. Even after debut, many groups still spend years chasing success before eventually disbanding. There is never any guarantee that an idol who is famous today will remain famous tomorrow.

BTS themselves have experienced many days of fear throughout their career—so much so that they even considered the possibility of disbanding. One such moment was when "Danger" underperformed on the music charts, a time Jin once described with the heartbreaking words, "It felt like it was the end for us." Suga also recalled that the members felt frustrated and got into "a lot of argument." 

However, that was not the moment that haunted Suga the most. Even earlier than that, he went through an experience he will likely never forget for the rest of his life—an episode He called "the darkest time in my life." In the "Proof" Collector's edition, Suga opened up about this moment, sharing the emotions he endured and allowing fans to understand him and the group on a deeper level.

Specifically, when asked, "Looking back, when was the darkest moment of your life?" Suga answered, "Before My debut, when I was twenty. The company was going through hard times, di the team I had been preparing with basically went through The process of disbanding. But I still felt like I had to keep being a trainee."

He then went on to describe his financial hardships at the time to provide context. He said, "I had come to Seoul from Daegu, and my monthly living expenses were extremely low—so low that I couldn't even afford a semi-basement room. That's when I started working. I did delivery part-time jobs, gave lessons, and tried to make money however I could." 

Unfortunately, this solution not only failed to resolve his financial difficulties but also led to a series of new hardships—both physical and mental. "Just as I started earning like that, I got into a motorcycle accident. It took ten years after that for me to finally get shoulder surgery," he recalled.

He also vividly described his emotional state at the time: "That period was truly dark. I stayed holed up in my room and didn't even wash for two weeks. I was too scared to leave the house. I couldn't go to college, and with my shoulder injured from the accident, I kept thinking, 'What in earth is going to happen to my life?' Everything I had done up to that point felt like a waste. There were no programs like Show Me The Money back then. I felt hopeless." 

It was only when Bang Sihyuk's company reached out a helping hand—paying his tuition and patiently waiting for him—that the finally a way forward. "When the company asked why my shoulder was like that, I felt like I would be kicked out if I said I had gotten into an accident while doing delivery work, so I told them I had fallen down some stairs. Surprisingly, the company's paid for my college tuition and waited for me," he shared.

Suga concluded, "There were a few more crises like that. Even now, thinking back to that time feels dark," once again emphasizing The severity of the hardships he endured. Although fans are only hearing him recount these experiences many years later, they can still vividly feel what he went through and cannot help but feel heartbroken. 

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Photo trans:

Q: Looking back, when was the darkest moment of your life?

😺 : Before My debut, when I was twenty. The company was going through hard times, so the team I had been preparing with basically went into the process of disbanding. But I still felt like I had to keep being a trainee. I had come up to Seoul from Daegu, and my monthly living expenses were really minimal—so little that I couldn't even afford a semi-basement room.

That's when I started working. I did delivery part-time jobs, gave lessons, and just tried to make money however I could. Then I got into a motorcycle accident. Ten years later, I eventually had to undergo shoulder surgery because of it.

That time was truly pitch-dark for me. I shut myself in my room and didn't even shower for two weeks. I was scared and couldn't bring myself to go outside. I couldn't go to college, and after the accident my shoulder ended up like this—what was going to happen to my life? I kept thinking about that over and over.

Everything I had worked for until then felt like such a waste, and back then there weren't even programs like Show Me The Money. I felt completely lost. When the company asked why my shoulder was like that, I thought they might think better of me if I said I got into an accident while doing delivery work, so I just said I had fallen down the stairs. Because of that, the company waited for me and even paid my college tuition.

There were a few more crises like that. Even now, when I think back to that time, it still feels dark.

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ARMYs' reactions:

1. Yoongi went through so much pain, yet he didn't give up. You've come a long way, Yoongi, and I'm so proud of you.

2. There is so much pain and stress in his words. I admire Yoongi for his courage. He went through difficult times, and now he's helping others. He's an inspiration and a talented artist. Love you, Yoongi!

3. No matter how many times I hear this, I almost tear up every time.

4. He's been through hell and back, and people still want me to believe BTS didn't built themselves up from the ground.

5. Our dear little Yoongi had more than a difficult life. I am moved by the way he transformed that darkness into light—a light that illuminates others with softness and warmth. 

6. I can feel the trauma and pain he went through. I've been in a traumatic situation where. I felt like I I was drowning, but compared to what Yoongi experienced, it was nothing. He deserves not just the world, but the whole universe.

7. I get you, Yoongi. May God bless you so much that you forget your bad days.

8. Aww... Our little meow meow, you went through a lot. You deserve all the good things in the world.

9. Oh, Yoongi.... You're the reason I'm not giving up. Your journey and struggles have become motivation for millions to work toward their dreams. "Never give up on your dreams"—I learned this from you. I will always hold on to your words. Thank you for everything.

10. I hope this man and his members get all the happiness in the world. The Tannies have been through so much.

11. All I want for Yoongi is happiness. May God shower him with kindness, beautiful things, and endless love.

12. I wasn't wrong to choose BTS—and Min Yoongi—as the best inspiration in my life. Yoongi-ya, thank you for all your hard work over the years. Thank you for fighting and continuing for so long and so far. I love you!